Sheila Tan – Singapore

Behold, I’m doing a new thing… It springs forth, do you not perceive it?” Isn’t it so true, that God can be doing something right before our very eyes, but we miss it altogether? It took me several weeks into the school term before I realized the truth of this.

I enrolled in Tung Ling for more than a time of equipping, but also a sort of retreat to rediscover communion with the Lord. I yearned to know God, not merely as a source of wisdom and strength for my life and ministry, but as my Lord and Friend. I needed a radical transformation in my inner life. Something had to be done, and taking 3 months’ leave from work to examine and renew my relationship with God was a small price to pay.

I thank God for the daily chapel time and the body ministry at Tung Ling, especially in the first week of the term. During one such time of worship, I struggled with doubt and accusations about the authenticity and heart of my worship before God. Instead of singing to the Lord, I battled these thoughts and my heart cried out for God to help me truly worship Him the way He deserved- it was really a struggle.

One morning, Dean released a word and encouraged us to put the past on the altar because God wanted to do a new work in us. That was when God revealed to me that I had been so caught up with what was ‘not right’ in my inner life, in my worship life and in my ministry, it had become a hindrance to perceiving or appropriating the new work that God had promised. So I began to lay down each area before God and receive God’s grace, redemption and restoration.
Through the ministry of the Holy Spirit, instead of lamenting and despairing at what was ‘not right’, a divine exchange took place. God was already beginning to do a new work in my life and would continue to do so until He was done with me. As I received God’s fresh anointing and strength, I began to worship Him anew.

In Isaiah 43:18, the Lord instructs us not to recall the former or the things of the past. Indeed, if we do not lay down our past disappointments and unmet expectations, failures, hurts, and fears, we can easily miss out on the ‘new thing’ He is doing. What a tragedy to remain in the things of old, when a fresh season of the Lord is literally dawning upon us! We must lay hold of what God is doing!

We’ve got to ask God to open our eyes to perceive His season in our lives! As I look back now, I realise that God was already doing a new work within me. I had not recognized it then, because it did not meet my definition of ‘something new’. I remember sharing with my Tung Ling cell group that I that I did not want to walk away from this term ‘thrilled but not transformed’, ‘inspired but not truly changed’. I was so concerned about that, I almost missed out on simply enjoying the fresh bread, and delighting in His presence each day.

In our short time at Tung Ling, I have been so blessed by anointed lecturers, men and women who love the Lord and have been called by Him to equip the people of God for the advancement of His kingdom. Much as I am excited at being an instrument used by God to further His kingdom, I now know I am first called to BE His very own and enjoy this relationship because He delights in me. I am learning to wait upon God these 3 months, and exchange my personal agenda for His. Above all, there now burns within me a deeper desire to worship and know my God, meditate on His Word and walk close to hear His heartbeat.

Sheila Tan
Living Sanctuary Brethren Church, Singapore